Musing Myself

Intuition. Like that Jewell song that pissed off her fan base but I kinda liked for the beat and the irony.  (That video was full of irony, with the shirtless firemen and stuff…) 

Anyway, intuition is something I’ve never really trusted.  Which in a way means I never fully trusted myself.  But in the nightmare of leaving my marriage, my intuition, my gut instinct kept me putting one clumsy foot in front of the other.  And the more I followed it, the more the nightmare faded.

Intuition is an immediate recognition of the truth,  independent of any reasoning process. So how do you recognize your intuition when it’s competing  for your attention against your fear, laziness, or silly sense of morals?  And how do you hear your intuition when you’ve spent years ignoring it?

It’s easier than it seems.  Trusting your intuition is your default mode so you’ve got that going for you.  You’re human and you’ve evolved from generations of humans who have honed this handy little instinct.  It might be a bit muddled now, but you can relearn how to listen to it.

Your intuition is your initial gut reaction to someone, something, or place.  It’s your unconscious mind using your stored information to react to tiny almost imperceivable details.  For example,  your best friend lies to you in kindergarten  and says she “DID NOT DID NOT DID NOT!” eat your favorite purple crayon.  As your friend speaks, your brain is recording all the minute, lightning quick details of her facial movements, tone of voice, breathing patterns… the fact that her teeth are covered in an odd purple waxy substance.  Your brain stores all this info and labels it: “Lookout, someone is lying”.

So years later, when your boyfriend says he “DID NOT DID NOT DID NOT!” make out with Susie from next door, your brain accesses that stored info from kindergarten, recognizes that something isn’t right and  little alarm goes off in your gut.  This time you don’t even need to see evidence of a waxy substance to know your being lied to (in this case the waxy substance is  probably lipstick, not crayon- unless Susie is the same freak you went to kindergarten with).

Unfortunately,  most people use logic to talk themselves out of their gut instincts.  We have a habit of pushing it away if it’s telling us to do something that’s difficult, socially unacceptable, or just takes us out of our comfort zone.  The good thing is it’ll come back.  It’ll wake you up in the middle of the night; it’ll make you sick to your stomach as you walk into your office and sit down to do the job you know you weren’t meant for; it’ll make you  as uncomfortable as possible until you fix the situation.  Of course, there’s a flip side to it too.  You’ll feel amazing when you’re following your gut.  You’ll feel free and stronger than before because you’re finally taking your own advice.

Hit the jump for a possibly inappropriately personal story and tips to strengthen your intuition.

Possibly inappropriately personal story: This summer I was literally living in a nightmare-ok that’s not right- I was figuratively living in a nightmare.  I couldn’t decide whether or not to leave my marriage.  He was all I’d known since the age of 17.  (I’m 27 now).  One day I was wandering around CVS and saw an issue of Cosmo (I know, I know) with the line When NOT to ignore your gut.  I grabbed it and read the whole article sitting inside CVS.   The sidebar was written by this new author, and she talked about how she’d finally learned to trust her gut and left her husband. It ended up being the right decision for her.  Her friends told her she was more like herself than ever before.  I knew exactly what she was talking about.   I still remember how I felt at that moment.  I felt validated; my gut was saying to leave and it was okay to follow it even though that meant breaking the hearts of people I loved and going out into the unknown (or my parents’ living room as it turned out to be).  Even though it was Cosmo magazine, I felt it was some kind of sign. Stop laughing!

I personally feel that, in times of crisis, people are much more open to signs.  And much more likely to make a sign out of almost anything in an attempt to find guidance.  Is that why I found Cosmo to be holy scripture at that moment?  Is that why I misheard The Police song that was playing in CVS as Sting saying: “… trust in your intuition” when in reality he said something completely different?  (to this day I have no idea, I’ve even Googled.)  We pay attention to the things  we need to learn.  Debating whether to trust my gut was constantly on my mind, so I saw signs and guideposts everywhere I looked.  And that’s a good thing.  It’s not that the universe was speaking to me through  Cosmo or Sting, but my intuition was speaking to me by the meanings I gave those things.

Tips to strengthen your intuition:

• First impressions are everything. Your intuition decides in seconds.  Pay close attention to your initial reaction because there is more truth to this reaction than you know.

• Fake it or Trial & Error. Your intuitive instinct is using everything you’ve ever learned & forgotten to make a decision on what’s best for you.  So go out there and learn more. Pretend you know what you’re doing, and that you already have a sharp sense of intuition and use it to take a different route home, pick out a new hobby or a new mate!  Sure you might get lost, find out you hate model airplanes, and go on the worst date of your life, BUT you’ll be learning.  You’ll remember the way you felt when you made those wrong decisions and you’ll be far less likely to repeat them.

• How do you feel? One of the best ways to tell if you’re following your intuition is by paying attention to how you feel.  There’ll be a surge of relief and adrenaline.  You’ll see the light, the sky will open, you’ll breathe better, and all that wonderful stuff.  Trust me you’ll just know.  And then you’ll second guess, go back to what’s comfortable, and generally feel confused and boring and sad.  But intuition is persistent, it won’t stop till you listen so you might as well start listening now.

• Is it fear or intuition? This one can be tricky, since fear also has its place in keeping you safe.  If you walk into a shady bar you’ll feel a bit fearful and be right to follow that feeling right out the door.  So I’m not saying to ignore or discount those kinds of feelings.  But you will make a lot of mistakes when you’re operating out of a place of fear.  Fear is paralyzing while you intuition is freeing.  Again, pay attention to how you feel because your intuition will make you feel more powerful and capable, while your fear will make you want to hide under the bed.

• Quiet your mind. OH I Said it! The self help guru cliche phrase…ahhh…. but it’s true.  How else are you going to hear you inner voice if you don’t shut up and listen?

• If all else fails wander around CVS until Sting tells you what to do.

Love,

MuseGirl